CHAPTER 11

Sage's Journal
September 8, 1988
Decatur, GA

Eliada flies through Atlanta tomorrow on his way to Fort Bragg. He has a layover of a couple of hours, so Peter and I will meet him in the Crown Room. I rarely see Eliada anymore, and if not for pagers I'd never find him. … Pretty cool that only seven years after graduating West Point, he's a Major and trains Green Berets for special operations. I'm sure he'll be some kind of high-ranking General before he retires.

I'm chilling in the Crown Room, listening to the television and downing free sodas while Sage works at a desk. The Crown Room feels big with its two floors of different areas for people to hang while they wait for their planes. Sage said Major Powers couldn't stay long; we are catching him between flights.

"Peter," I hear Sage say. "Up you go and say hello to Major Eliada Powers."

"Hello, sir," I bark like the soldiers I've heard in movies, while standing and saluting.

"At ease," he says. "You don't have to salute, because you're a civilian. Still, it's an excellent start. Sage, I'm on the last flight out, so we've got under three hours."

"Right this way," she says. Holding onto her elbow, I follow them to a group of lounge chairs in the upper level quiet area.

"Peter," Major Powers begins, "do you know what is meant by a ëbriefing'?"

"No, sir."

"A briefing is an exchange of instructions or essential information. What I'll do now is brief you on the essential personal traits you need to acquire before you're ready to be a good leader. Are we clear so far?"

"Yes, sir," I respond, feeling compelled to be quick and call him sir.

"Good. There's more to being a good leader than just your personal characteristics, yet that's the foundation of leadership. Because you're not too young to start turning yourself into a leader, we'll start with those."

"Yes, sir."

"Right now you're in foster care. However, at some point in the future you'll have the responsibility of leading others, even if it's just one other person. It happens to everyone, and we're either prepared and succeed, or we're not and we fail. You want to be successful, right?"

"Sure," I respond.

"Of course. But first let's understand what I'm talking about. The ability to lead springs from one's personal traits"his or her beliefs, values, and character. Whether you can identify them or not, and whether they are acceptable or not, you have beliefs, values, and character."

"Yes, sir."

"Today I'm going to introduce you to those traits that identify a good leader and that you can begin to develop now. After today, you need to start working on yourself to gain those traits. Are you willing to work with me to help you become a good leader?"

"Yes, sir."

"Good. Now, two things to remember. First is that good leaders are so damn rare that if you become one, you'll be in demand the rest of your life. Second is that good leaders weren't born knowing how to lead. They learned through study and experience. You'll have to do the same."

There was a pause, and then I hear Sage say, "Yeah, I'm ready."

Sage's Journal
September 9, 1988
Atlanta, GA

Before you can be a good leader, you have to have first been a good follower. By this I mean you have to have spent time under the authority of a good leader experiencing what it's like to be led. … No one jumps up suddenly to become a good leader without being a good follower, any more than someone can be a good doctor without first being a resident, or a judge without being a lawyer. …the process simply takes time.

…mastering the art of leadership, like mastering anything, takes study and hard work. …there's no secret path to good leadership other than learning and practicing a desirable trait or skill, learning and practicing another, and continuing that process until your role as a leader is finished.

…don't desire a position of leadership too early, that is, before you are qualified to lead. Most people want to be leaders for the wrong reasons. …they only want power…they only desire public recognition…it pays better…or any number of equally selfish reasons. Certainly being a leader has benefits, but more so it has burdens. … First and foremost, a leader serves; he serves both his superiors and those he leads.

"Peter," Major Powers says, "I understand you've met Simon, Ayo, and Gabriel. Am I correct?"

"Yes, sir."

"Fine. Concentrate first on what they told you, although nothing I say should conflict with what you heard from them."

"OK."

"It's impossible," Major Powers says, "to lead others if you can't first lead yourself."

Sage's Journal
September 9, 1988
Atlanta, GA

…a leader, like every human, is defined by his or her personal traits. Traits include beliefs, values and norms. Beliefs are those assumptions or convictions we hold as true. Values are our attitudes about the worth of something or someone. Norms are the rules or laws we agree to live by. …as a leader, the beliefs, values and norms you choose are important, because they guide your actions, and your actions affect those you lead.

Our values influence our behavior because we rely on them to help us choose between alternatives: money over truth, friendship over fairness, self-interest over justice, whatever. … How you decide between these options depends on your values. Although these values differ widely between people, all leaders are expected to hold the four essential values of courage, candor, competence, and commitment. … These values are essential for building trust between the leader and those that follow. I'm confident Sage displays these values as she steers you on the tandem.

…courage comes in two forms. Physical courage means overcoming fears of bodily harm while performing your duty. Moral courage means standing firm on your values and beliefs, even when doing so is unpopular. … Courage is withstanding difficulty, including the times of loneliness and rejection familiar to every good leader, and foster kid.

…having candor means being frank, open, honest, and sincere with those you serve. If handled properly, disagreeing with others and presenting your point of view are not wrong. …however, you must understand there comes a time to shut up and follow the reasonable orders of your supervisors and to tell those you lead to do the same.

…to be competent is to be proficient in the knowledge, judgment, and skills required of the endeavor at hand. Competence varies depending on the endeavor and level of leadership…but you must always be competent enough to execute your responsibilities.

…to have commitment means to have the dedication to lead and carry out your responsibilities for the sake of successfully completing the endeavor.

Norms are typically dictated by others, such as lawmakers and society as a whole. However, individual beliefs, values, and attitudes are shaped by our experiences involving family and social relationships. …because you're growing up in foster care, which by definition means your experiences are influenced by untraditional family and social relationships, consider the possibility that you need to examine and substitute some or all of your beliefs and values with the beliefs and values of trustworthy leaders, including your foster parents.

… I'll give you an example of the need to examine and substitute flawed beliefs. While I, Eliada, was in foster care, I was told by a foster parent that they were not going to discipline me, because discipline takes away the individual's right to do as they please. … Later my high school coach said that discipline isn't about the loss of individuality or suppression, but about everyone involved in the endeavor focusing their resources and energies to achieve the desired results. … After examining what I was first taught about discipline, and understanding why that teaching was flawed, I substituted my flawed belief with the more accurate teaching of my coach.

…character describes a person's inner strength, and is the link between her values and behavior. Character can be strong or weak. …a person with strong character recognizes what she wants and finds the drive, energy, self-discipline, willpower, and courage within herself to pursue her goals. …a person with weak character doesn't know what she wants and lacks the purpose, willpower, self-discipline, and the courage within herself to pursue her goals.

Many people you will lead will want to improve themselves, but they'll need discipline, organization, a good role model, and a positive set of beliefs, values, and habits to pattern themselves after. …you, as a leader with good beliefs and values, can assist the person who wants to change through your example and your instructions.

…the good leader has an established set of ethics"the personal moral framework that guides his actions. At a minimum, this set of ethics must include the traits of loyalty, duty, selfless service and integrity.

…a leader is loyal and faithful to her superiors, to those she leads, and to the successful accomplishment of her assigned endeavor.

…in addition, a leader has the legal or moral obligation to accomplish the assigned endeavor to the fullest of his ability. In his duty, a leader critically thinks about and anticipates all that's necessary to accomplish that endeavor. … Duty also requires a leader to willingly accept responsibility for his actions.

…likewise, a leader is a steward, a selfless and responsible manager of what is entrusted to her care who resists the temptation to put her self-interest ahead of what is best for the endeavor and those she serves.

…a leader is honest, upright, and lives the values he represents to those he leads. As the basis for trust, integrity requires the leader be sincere, honest, candid, and free of deception toward those he serves.

…as a leader, you must be a person of strong and honorable character. Leaders with a strong and honorable character are those who display, in addition to what we've discussed, determination, compassion, self-discipline, initiative, flexibility, and consistence. … Rather than review each of these now, you can learn the meaning of unfamiliar words from a dictionary.

These essential qualities of a good leader simply take time to learn, and experience to develop. … By seeking qualities you don't already have, you are attempting to radically change yourself. Remember that no radical change is easy, so don't expect to experience these traits overnight or acquire them without some failures along the way. That's just the normal learning process. … The important thing is that you don't give up on acquiring these traits. Your success as a good leader depends on your efforts.

"The moment you become a leader," the Major says, "you begin to either grow stronger or grow weaker. You grow stronger by practicing the qualities you've acquired and learning to behave like a leader, or you grow weaker by ignoring these qualities and choosing not to learn additional skills."

"How do you learn to behave like a leader?" asks Sage.

"Good question. In the Army, we say a leader must Be, Know and Do. What we've been discussing is the Be aspect of being a leader"the personal traits aspect. The Know and Do aspects regard the actual role of leadership"acting as a leader. I want to be responsive to your question, but I don't think discussions in those areas will help at this time. We can hit those later. Right now, I think it's enough that Peter understands success as an adult is his, in large part simply by working on his character now."

"I understand," responds Sage.

"Here is my copy of Military Leadership," he says to me. "It's the Army-issued primer on leadership. Obviously, because I'm Army-trained much of what I say about essential personal traits comes from this manual and my experience as an Army leader. However, don't think that what I'm saying is limited to the military. Corporate America, back when it functioned better, used these same techniques all the time."

"Yes, sir."

"It also introduces the reader to the Know and Do aspects of leadership. After you've reviewed this and you're ready, we can discuss those aspects of leadership."

"Thank you," I say, stretching out my hand and accepting the thin book. "They each gave me a book also."

"Who gave you a book?"

"Mr. L'bleak, Professor DeLuz and Rabbi," I reply.

"Well, I have another for you," he says.

"Yes, sir."

Sage's Journal
September 9, 1988
Atlanta, GA

Eliada gives Peter a copy of Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People. This book, first published in the 1930s, is the classic how-to-succeed American textbook. … I still read my copy at least once a year. …because Eliada is just discussing what's stated in it, I decide not to take notes of his discussion. Peter and I can talk about it later when I read it to him.

"After you've read these two books, we'll discuss them in detail. Meanwhile, begin to acquire and practice the personal traits now, while you're young and it's not that hard, and you'll be well on your way to becoming a good leader."

"Yes, sir."

"Excellent. Looks like my plane boards shortly."

"In that case," Sage says, "excuse me a moment."

"Of course," says Major Powers.

"Thanks, I'll be just a few minutes."

Major Powers sits back down. Now is my chance.

"Excuse me, sir," I say as I lean in his direction and begin cautiously. "You mind if I ask you a couple of questions?"

"Not at all," he replies.

"Do you know the others?"

"Who?"

"Mr. L'bleak, Professor DeLuz, and Rabbi Maxx," I reply.

"Yes."

"How?"

"We all met at a group foster home in Roselle Park, New Jersey."

"I didn't know that. How long were you all there?"

"For various lengths of time. We were all there together for about two years before we were shipped off to different foster homes."

I lean further and whisper, "Tell me about Sage."

The Major is silent for a full thirty seconds. "Did you know Sage when you could still see?" he asks.

"Uh-huh. We met when I could still see, but almost everything was blurry."

"Could you see the scars?"

"Where?"

"On her forehead, her neck, and her wrists."

I thought for a minute but my memory of the details of Sage's face was faded, like my memory of my mom. I remembered that Sage had her hair in bangs, and wore turtlenecks even in the summer. "No," I reply.

Again the Major is silent a short time before he speaks. "Then at this time I don't have anything to tell you about Sage that you can't find out from her directly. I will say that most every kid who ever lived in foster care has a harsh story to tell, but you already know that. Simon, Ayo, Gabriel, Sage, and I are no different. But more important than the harsh stories is the answer to this question: How do we empower foster kids to overcome their harsh beginnings? Do you understand, Peter? The concern is, how do we leaders ensure that all those who follow likewise succeed?"

"Yes, sir," I respond quickly, and withdraw into my chair.

"I will say one thing about Sage," the Major says. "It looks like she's focusing her anger and extracting her revenge on her youth by figuring out a way to help others do a faster and better job in making the transformation. You're lucky to have a friend in Sage."

"Did I hear my name?" Sage asks as she walks up.

"Yes, ma'am," Major Powers replies, standing and, I think, picking up his briefcase, "but we're not reporting what I said."

"That's right," I reply.

"Folks, my plane is boarding. Peter, study and work at what we discussed. We'll meet again." I salute without speaking, putting down my hand after Sage tells me he is gone.

"You were all in foster care together?" I ask as we leave the Crown Room.

"Yeah," she replies. "For now, I'll give you the short version of our story."

Sage then told me how she and her friends met at the group home in New Jersey. They were all in junior high at the time. Simon had been abandoned by his teenage mother, the Professor was a runaway, Rabbi had been born addicted, and the Major's parents were killed during a store robbery. Sage did not say how she started foster care. As they grew up, they remained friends and kept in contact, because they could always rely on each other during difficult times.

"I needed to introduce you to things that the others know better than I do," Sage said as we boarded the Marta train. "That's why I called on my friends. Each of us has introduced you to critical knowledge and wisdom, and done it from the perspective of having been foster kids ourselves. That means we understand exactly where you are in your life and what you need to know to go forward and succeed."

"I knew you were in, but I didn't know all of you had been in foster care."

"Would it have made a difference?" she asks.

"Maybe. I listened, but maybe I would have listened harder."

"Don't worry, I've written it all down, and we'll go over it as often as we need to until you understand everything that's been said to you."

Sitting here on the Marta, I begin to understand and appreciate the work she is doing for me. I have to be honest and say that I can be selfish, because I believe that if I don't watch out for myself, nobody else will. But maybe I'm wrong. Sage is looking out for me, and now so are her friends. Maybe I'm not so alone after all. I feel relief, like a burden is being lifted from me. I turn to Sage, and she lets me hug her, something we have never done before, and then I kiss her on her neck. It's an awkward moment, but she seems to understand what I cannot say.

Sage's Journal
September 9, 1988
Atlanta, GA

…it's been a good day. Like the others when I've been able to introduce Peter to my friends from foster care. …tonight I'm tired of writing, so this will be short.

A flood of memories drowns me each time I listen to one of them speak. Though our memories can't yet shake the specter of our failed childhoods, I'm comforted by the knowledge that, except for Simon, we five are happy, and each of us has much to contribute because of, not in spite of, our harsh beginnings. … I envision Peter will one day realize a similar reward.

Socratic Method questions for Chapter 11

Understanding the Guide