CHAPTER 4, PART 2

"Peter, what do you want the movie of your life to include?"

"I want everybody to know I cycled around the world, and that I could solve all kinds of mysteries and crimes."

"OK, looks like you've still got those cycling and problem-solving interests going. After you write and sort your aspiration descriptions, you will have three groups of small piles. The accomplishments, activities, and aspirations should all be divided into groups according to the generic names."

Sage's Journal
Age 20
Atlanta, GA

I've learned that the next step in determining core interests is to review these groups of piles together. By definition, core interests are those generic names that appear in each of the three sets. … I'm trying to understand my core interests, not all my interests, because it's the core interests that span the breadth of my life: past, present and future. … With such a broad foundation, based on a personality established years ago, I can safely rely on my core interests when choosing a general direction for my life.

To choose a general direction for my life and make other important decisions based on core interests is smarter than to gamble further with non-core interests. … Now I understand why people have a hard time making important decisions; they chase non-core interests rather than core interests. I see other students do this all the time trying to select a major. They get distracted and drive themselves crazy, because one day they want to be a pilot, the next day a doctor, and the next week something totally different. …they don't choose the right direction for their lives, because they don't know to base that kind of decision on their core interests.

Sage's Journal
Age 20
Atlanta, GA

…and determining my core interests was no harder than determining which interests appear in all three pile groups, and that was no more difficult than combining those piles that are labeled with the same or similar name. … I began by comparing the accomplishment piles (labeled 1) with the activity piles (labeled 2) and combining those piles that have the same or similar names. Then I repeated the combining step with the aspiration piles (labeled 3).

…actually, this can get confusing. To sum it up, I can identify my core interests by simply combining the piles with the same or similar generic name and finding which combined piles include at least one accomplishment (labeled 1), one activity (labeled 2), and one aspiration (labeled 3). …those other piles likely indicate only non-core interests.

I can imagine a situation where this process doesn't yield a combined pile that includes an accomplishment, an activity, and an aspiration. In that case, I'd rethink the names I gave to each pile. If there are piles that are similar, but I gave them different names, I'd rename the similar piles with the same name and try the combining steps again.

For example, if I had an accomplishment pile called "woodworking," and an activity pile named "metalworking," I'd rename both piles "smithing" and combine them. Although wood and metal are different materials, the skills necessary to work with both materials as close enough for this purpose, so these two piles can be combined to help identify the core interest of smithing. A dictionary or thesaurus might be helpful with finding good descriptive words.

Sage is starting to lose me. There's only so much I can remember the first time around. She's going to have to go through this with me again.

"All right," she says. "Based on what you've said so far, tell me some of your core interests."

I can't think of a response right away, so she waits. Finally, something connects, and I blurt out, "Two things would be on each list, cycling and solving mysteries."

"Yeah, you're right. OK, cycling and solving mysteries. With a core interest of solving mysteries, you'd probably enjoy being some kind of investigator. Like, you'd probably enjoy being a detective."

"Excellent! I'd love to be a detective."

"Or you might like owning a bicycle shop. Either way, once you determine a career choice based on a core interest, you can now begin the last step, which is working backward to determine goals."

Sage's Journal
Age 20
Atlanta, GA

…my first step in determining which goals support my core interest of law was to learn what kind of training is necessary to become a lawyer. So I went to the library and got a U.S. government publication called the Occupational Outlook Handbook. There I looked up "lawyer," and it showed me what kind of education and training was needed. … Fortunately I finished high school, and I'm in college. Next is to make sure I keep my GPA up and then take the LSAT. Looks like my grades and LSAT score are all that matter. After that, I apply to law school.

A lot has to be done before I can become a lawyer, but now the future isn't so scary, because I have a plan. … This method has taken the mystery out of what I need to do. To achieve success, all I have to do is set and complete goals that support decisions based on my core interest. I'm sure a little luck along the way won't hurt.

Sage's Journal
Age 20
Atlanta, GA

…my long-term goals are now the activity and aspiration components of my core interests. In order to realize my long-term goals, I need to set relevant short- and medium-term goals. If a long-term goal isn't that difficult, it may not require a short- or medium-term goal for support. If my goals aren't directed to my core interests and don't support each other, I'm just wasting time and energy.

More than an hour has passed since Sage and I left L-5-P. Stone Mountain Park is behind us, and the setting sun is to our left as we travel toward the city of Snellville, and my foster home. I feel the face of my watch. It reads 6:40 PM and we have about three miles to go. We will easily make it to my house by seven o'clock.

"Remember, Peter," she says, "after completing this exercise, you now possess a powerful tool that enables you to take control of your life in an intelligent manner. Once you realize you can intelligently take control, you have reclaimed hope in your future."

Sage's Journal
June 5, 1988
Decatur, GA

Usually you're in foster care because other people were in charge of your life and they screwed up. I think what I've figured out about this method of using my core interests to plan a smooth transition out of foster care and into a successful adulthood is that it is a great way for me to recover from someone else's mistakes. Succeeding in the face of adversity is the best revenge.

…I think I need to be aware that after I go through this process, I must not ignore or deny my core interests just because what I have uncovered about myself doesn't fit with my perceptions of myself. If I ignore my core interests in this way, I'm ignoring or denying my true self. If I ignore or deny my true self, then I deny my happiness, and my future may be as dreary as my past.

"Does all this make sense?" she asks again, her voice hoarse after an hour of solid talking and riding.

"Uh-huh, but it sounds like a lot of work."

"It's not. For one thing, you can do it little at a time instead of listening to TV or doing some other time-killer. I worked through this method mostly over a Thanksgiving holiday while I was in college, so I'm sure you can do it within a few weeks. That's a great use of time to set your life in the right direction."

"Isn't there an easier way?"

"NO!" she barks. "Part of the burden of being in foster care is that you have to take on a lot of responsibility for yourself. If you absolutely couldn't make the lists and determine your core interests, even after several attempts, I guess you could use some standardized personality tests to determine a likely career choice. But I think there are problems with standardized tests."

I'm still looking for an easy way out. "What tests?"

"Well, I know two. One is the Strong Interest Inventory. The idea there is to identify career choices by comparing you with people who say they're happy in a particular career. The other is called the Self-Directed Search. I think either of these tests could help identify career choices for someone who just couldn't get through the preferred method I describe, but that's all you'll get -- some career counseling."

I give up, in part because she's the most stubborn adult I know, and in part because I'm tired of riding and talking. "All right, I'll try your way."

"I know you will," she replies, "and you won't be sorry. In a few years, before you enter the job market, I'll also read you a book titled Go Hire Yourself an Employer by a guy named Richard Irish. It's a great book about using your core interests to actually get the right job. It was a huge help to me, and it'll help you with the next phase of your plan."

"Now don't be mad," I warn her, "but I don't remember everything you just said. You'll help me with the lists, right?"

"Yes and no," she says. "Yes, because now I'll include in my daily journal the new stuff we talk about. You know, the stuff that's not already written in there. That way we can refer back to my journal when we need to know exactly what we talked about. No, I'm not going to compose those lists for you. This is an important exercise each of us has to do in order to rescue ourselves. Since it's part of your plan for your future, you've got to take an interest and role in the process."

"All right, all right. It's cool. I'm not trying to get out of doing it," I say, verbally backpedaling. "I just asked if you'd remind me of the steps, that's all." Then I remembered back before we started riding, she had told me how she wrote in a journal every night, and she'd been doing that since she was my age.

Sage's Journal
June 5, 1988
Decatur, GA

We pulled up to Peter's just before seven o'clock. As we packed up the tandem, I reflected on the day. It had been a good ride, more than fifty miles, and we had some excellent discussions. … Our friendship also took an important turn today with the new dimension of mutual responsibility.

I already had responsibility for him when he and I were out, and he had the responsibility of listening to me. But today, because of our agreement, we've added another layer of responsibility to our relationship: I agreed to help him make a successful transition out of foster care and into adulthood, while he agreed to work toward that successful transition with me.

…I walked him to the front door. He was a little nervous in anticipation of tonight; he wasn't sure that he'd be good company. I assured him that if Suzanne and Mike weren't interested in hanging out with him, they wouldn't have gone through the trouble of inviting him. I told him the secret to having a good time with others is for him to just be himself. If he is lucky, they'll not be putting on an act either. That way, if he's having fun, then he knows he likes the others for who they truly are, and vice versa. If no one's having fun, then they're not likely to hang together again. That's a good thing, because then no one will be caught in the trap of pretending every time they see the other person. I wished him luck but knew he wouldn't need it. He's becoming more likable.

…I drove away excited by the prospect of helping guide Peter through the most difficult yet important period of his life, but afraid that I might fail him.

Chapter 4, Part 1

Socratic Method questions for Chapter 4

Understanding the Guide