Understanding The Guide

To the foster kid and former foster kid: The primary reason for this book is to give you access to a mentor familiar with your situation. If you have a live mentor that is a former foster kid, then you're very fortunate. Still, this book will be of help. Another purpose of this book is to be a mental and emotional self-help guide to aging out. Other books and sources provide information on the physical aspects of aging out, such as finding housing and a job. Another purpose of this book is to provide an elementary philosophy book for foster kids and former foster kids. Perhaps foster kids who have learned the concepts taught here will improve and build on what I've started, and I invite them to do so.

To the foster care professional: After writing this book I became aware of the work of Mr. William Bridges. He's the transition management expert and writer of several books who has identified and labeled the three phases of making a transition, such as the transition of aging out of foster care. Roughly stated, those phrases are: first, Ending and Letting Go; second, the Neutral Zone; and third, the New Beginning. Perhaps I can best explain the Guide to you by explaining it in the context of Mr. Bridges' work.

Mr. Bridges' theories and observations regarding transitions apply to foster teens aging out and trying to transition into a successful adulthood. Especially applicable to aging out is the Neutral Zone-that in-between time when the old system is going or gone, and the new system isn't fully operational. The Neutral Zone is a scary place, which Mr. Bridges suggests is like being in mid-air between trapezes. That's a good metaphor as I remember that is how I normally felt as a child, teenager, and young adult.

In that regard, The Original Foster Care Survival Guide is about the Neutral Zone, without calling it that or rehashing Mr. Bridges' writings. Instead, the Guide is a story that makes extensive use of metaphors and images to teach the average foster teen how to navigate the unique Neutral Zone that is part of aging out of foster care.

To every reader: In addition to the many compliments I receive regarding the Guide, some readers have told me they didn't see or understand the metaphors and images used in the story. For that reason, I present below a quick list of the more important metaphors and images used in the Guide.

Chapter 1

1. Neither Sage nor Peter are given a last name or a physical description, because I want the reader to develop an image of these two characters that the reader is most comfortable with, rather than what I envision.
2. The tandem is a metaphor for Sage and Peter's relationship, and for Sage guiding Peter through the Neutral Zone. On all levels, they need to work together.
3. Similarly, blindness is a metaphor for Peter being in the Neutral Zone and not knowing what's ahead of him.
4. Peter's blindness is also a metaphor for being in foster care. Just like it isn't his fault he's blind, it's not our fault we were put in the system.
5. Sage describes the bicycle the Washingtons give her in dramatic terms: blood, cut vein, stallions, charging bull, and white fang. Although the bicycle is her key to freedom, freedom is scary, like the Neutral Zone.
6. The difficult time Peter has learning to ride represents his struggle with the Ending and Letting Go phase.
7. The centaur is what Peter becomes as he learns to cooperate with Sage to make a successful transition.
8. Because "Hammerhead" is a name we cyclists call a person who keeps pedaling no matter how hard the ride gets, I call Peter "Hammerhead," because he's going to have to fight to overcome his hard beginning.
9. Intersections in the road, like Ponce de Leon, are places of potential danger and represent the potentially dangerous decisions we make while in the Neutral Zone.

Chapter 2

1. New roads like Moreland Avenue represent uncertain territory, such as the Neutral Zone and Sage helping Peter by doing something she hasn't done before-mentoring someone through aging out.

Chapter 3

1. The Socratic Method of questions helps underscore the tension in Peter and Sage's relationship.
2. Keith, Maia, Craig and Dee are names that pop up through the story. They're the names of my brothers and sisters who popped in and out of each others' childhoods.

Chapter 4

No significant new metaphors or images.

Chapter 5

1. Reggie is a metaphor for the baggage we carry that we have to let go of, even if it's someone we love. To hold onto it or them hurts us, and frankly, our focus needs to be on rescuing ourselves. After we've made a successful transition to adulthood, we can think about rescuing others.

Chapter 6

No significant new metaphors or images.

Chapter 7

1. Simon L'bleak is in prison, a prison of his own making, because he didn't work as a teen to save himself.

Chapter 8

1. The century-the hundred-mile ride-represents the New Beginning of adulthood Peter has to prepare for, and it's doable even if he's blind right now, because Sage is with him.

Chapter 9

1. Ayo DeLuz means, literally, "teacher of light" because once the reader grasps what Ayo is teaching, they start to see the light regarding making good decisions.
2. Ayo's injured hand represents the damage others do to us, whether intentionally when we're working hard to improve ourselves or unintentionally because they're ignorant.

Chapter 10

1. Gabriel Maxx is named after the chief angel Gabriel, and primarily represents the truth we all need to hear and put into action.
2. Diogenes, who Gabriel's motorcycle is named after, was a Greek philosopher whose basic creed was to distinguish between true and false values and reject the false.
3. Gabriel represents a number of things, including God, in the fight with Peter.
4. Gabriel rebuilding the Ambassador motorcycle parallels Sage's rebuilding Peter, who, like Peter the Apostle, becomes a witness of miracles and an ambassador of hope.
5. If you are to be successful, I conclude that the question of God -- more specifically, your relationship with God -- is an issue you have to satisfactorily address. I recommend you begin and finish the same Bible study course favored by Gabriel, which is available for free at the Web site www.eternalcog.org in the library section.

Chapter 11

1. Eliada is the name of a great and mighty Old Testament military leader.
2. The scars Sage carries represent her own injuries, both physical and emotional.
3. The first initial of each of Sage's friends spells out S-A-G-E. One reason is the qualities they each represent are present in every former foster teen that makes a successful transition from foster care to adulthood, such as the former foster teen Sage.

Epilogue

In this story, Sage had to die for a number of reasons:
1. She supplies the eyes through which Peter can physically see as he starts his New Beginning.
2. Sage has to withdraw from Peter's life so that he is forced to apply the tools -- the wisdom and knowledge -- she provided him.
3. Sage has to withdraw from Peter's life so that no one can say the experiment failed. In other words, Peter doesn't have an advantage; he succeeds even though his mentor is physically gone, because he read the material she left him. Peter succeeds just as anyone else reading the same material could succeed.

Best Regards,
Paul Enrique Knowlton
June 20, 2004

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